Whom did Adam marry, and when did he marry her? One Eve.
What was her bridal dress? Barely nothing.
Not even a ribbon? No, she had no need of one, she was rib bone herself.
When Adam and Eve were in the gardening business, at what time did they commence picking apples? In the Fall.
What was the first step they took in the sugar business? Raising Cain.
Why did not Cain make good sugar? Because he wasn’t Abel.
Spirits, as well as sugar, comes from cane, what evil resulted from this Cain’s spirit? Abel got slewed.
What reason have we to suppose that Cain also got slewed? He went immediately to the land of Nod.
Who was the wisest man? Knower.
What did he know? He knew enough to get in out of the rain.
How To Get a Fine White House Out of and Empty Barrel
Put the barrel in a secure place, near a spring of good water, on the road to the grog shop. When you want a dram, take the price of it in your hand and start to the grog shop, go as far as the spring, drop the money through the bung-hole, take a good drink of water and return home. Repeat this operation till the barrel is full, knock out the head, and you have the price of a splendid brick building. Fact.
An old bachelor editor thus in his spite, comments on a recent moonlight incident: “We left our sanctum at midnight last night, and on our way home we saw a young lady and a gentleman holding a gate on its hinges. They were evidently indignant at being kept out so late; saw them bite each other several times.”
A Boy’s Composition On The Goat
A goat is stronger than a pig and gives milk. He looks at you. So does the doctor. But a goat has four legs. My goat butted Deacon Tillinghast in a bad place, and a little calf wouldn’t do so. A boy without a father is an orphan, and if he hain’t got no mother he is two orphans. The goat don’t give so much as a cow, but more than an ox. I saw an ox at a fair one day with a card tied to his ear, we went in on a family ticket. Mother picks geese in the summer, and the goat eats grass and jumps on a box. Some folks don’t like goats, but as for me, give me a mule with a paint-brush tail. The goat is a useful animal, but don’t smell as sweet or as nice as a bear’s oil for the hair. If I had too much hair I would wear a wig, as old Capt. Peters does. I will sell my goat for three dollars, and go to the circus to see the elephant, which is bigger than five goats.
On last Monday night we had a fall of four or five inches of snow, and on Tuesday, every sleigh and all the bells in town were put in requisition. The boys with their sleds came in for their share of the fun, and represented the pains and pleasures of life, by toiling with their sleds up hill for the pleasure of riding them down again to the place they started from. And so we go – but who’s afeerd!
New Way Of Getting A Kiss
Young men who go to see the girls have adopted a novel method of obtaining kisses. They assert, on the authority of scientific writers, that the concussions produced by a kiss will cause the flame of a gas jet to flicker, and easily induce a girl to experiment in the interest of science. The first kiss or two the parties watch the flame, to see it flicker, but soon become so interested in the experiment as to let it flicker if it wants to. – Sunday News
All the above from The Parkersburg Gazette
Bob Enoch is president of the Wood County Historical and Preservation Society. If you have comments or questions about Look Back items, please contact him at: roberteenoch@gmail.com, or by mail at WCHPS, PO Box 565, Parkersburg, WV 26102.
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